More on motivation
[Note: what follows is not a transcript, but an approximation of the video discussion]
Last time, we talked about motivation, and how motivating yourself by wanting to run away from what pains you isn’t enough to keep you motivated. If you missed that video, you can find it on my YouTube channel, or on my blog on my website.
Today I want to talk about how to create lasting motivation.
The thing about using your pain to motivate you – it’s hard to move away from something without knowing what you are moving towards.
So here’s what I do with my clients. I guide them in creating a powerful vision of where they want to go. Who will they be when they achieve their goal? And it’s sometimes in creating this vision that roadblocks come up.
For example, imagine a woman who wants to lose 20 lbs. She is experiencing the pain of not being able to fit in her clothes, of feeling disappointed in herself that she let herself go, of feeling out of control with her eating, of not being able to stay motivated, maybe also low self-confidence and low self-esteem, to the extent that she withdraws a bit socially. She is in an experience that is very unpleasant. She recognizes that and wants to change it. And in her mind, losing 20 pounds is the answer.
How does she motivate herself to do what she believes she needs to do in order to lose the weight she wants to lose?
If she were my client, here’s what we’d do together. We’d build a vision of a future version of her where she has achieved her goal. And we’d explore this future version. What gets to happen? How does she think differently? What is she believing about herself? How does she feel? How does she dress? Act? Socialize?
Maybe she builds a vision of herself where she is wearing cute clothes, she’s going out more, she’s having fun at the gym, she feels energetic and vibrant, all the clothes in her closet fit her, she wakes up in the morning after a great night’s sleep excited for the day, stress just rolls off her back. That’s pretty powerful, right? Who wouldn’t want that?
And then we perform an activity to anchor that vision so she can recall it when needed and get a burst of motivation to make the choices that will keep her on her path towards that vision.
But sometimes when I co-create a vision with a client, some scary things come up – like maybe she feels she’ll get unwanted sexual attention, or she’s afraid she’ll lose connection with some of her friends, or she’s afraid she won’t be able to maintain. If those kinds of things come up – that’s great. Because these are things that, if not addressed, will keep her stuck. These are road blocks on her journey, and by bringing them into the light, we can work on transforming them and moving her through them.
So what is your vision for your future self? How do you want to think, look, feel, and act? Can you build a powerful vision to motivate you? Or do scary things come up?
If you’d like to explore this with me, I encourage you to schedule a Clarity Call.